When one spouse intentionally delays divorce proceedings in New York, you have legal options to keep the case moving forward. Courts can impose sanctions on a spouse who stalls, including ordering them to pay your attorney fees. You can also pursue a default judgment if your spouse refuses to respond, or use divorce by publication if they cannot be located.
At The Law Office of Ryan Besinque, Manhattan divorce attorney Ryan Besinque helps clients navigate difficult divorce situations throughout New York County and the surrounding boroughs. Attorney Besinque can help protect your interests when an uncooperative spouse tries to prolong the process through manipulation or refusal to engage.
This guide explains why spouses delay divorces, how to recognize delay tactics, what penalties courts can impose, and how to obtain a divorce without your spouse’s cooperation. Call The Law Office of Ryan Besinque at (929) 251-4477 to discuss your case.
Why Do Spouses Try to Drag Out Divorce Proceedings?
Spouses delay divorces for emotional, financial, or strategic reasons. Some hold out hope that the marriage can be saved if they delay long enough. Others act out of anger and want to see their spouse suffer through a prolonged process. Financial motivations also play a role when one spouse tries to hide assets, avoid support payments, or run up the other party’s legal costs.
The most common reasons fall into three categories:
- First, one spouse does not want the divorce and believes that delaying will change the other’s mind. These individuals often struggle to accept that the marriage has ended.
- Second, one spouse feels angry and uses delay tactics as a form of control or revenge.
- Third, financial concerns drive the delay, such as attempts to shield assets from equitable distribution or to force the other spouse to exhaust their resources on attorney fees.
Understanding the motivation behind delay tactics can help you and your attorney develop an effective strategy to move the case forward.
What Are the Signs Your Spouse Is Delaying the Divorce?
Certain behaviors indicate your spouse is intentionally stalling rather than simply taking time to respond. Repeatedly rescheduling meetings with mediators or attorneys signals avoidance. Failing to sign documents or avoiding service of court papers also significantly slows the process.
Other warning signs include making false accusations, frequently changing attorneys, and refusing to communicate. When a spouse ignores calls, texts, and emails without explanation, it creates unnecessary obstacles. Making unreasonable demands that no court would grant or filing frivolous motions are also common stalling tactics.
While some delays are normal in divorce proceedings, a pattern of these behaviors indicates intentional obstruction. Document each instance to present to the court if needed.
Common Delay Tactics
Manipulative spouses employ specific strategies to prolong divorce cases:
- Avoiding service: Refusing to accept delivery of divorce papers or hiding to prevent proper service
- Missing deadlines: Consistently failing to file required documents or attend scheduled court appearances
- Switching attorneys: Hiring and firing lawyers repeatedly to claim they need more time to get new counsel up to speed
- Discovery abuse: Making excessive document requests or refusing to provide financial information
- Unreasonable settlement demands: Proposing terms that they know the other spouse will reject to avoid reaching an agreement
These tactics add months or even years to what could otherwise be a straightforward process.
Divorce Attorney in Manhattan – The Law Office of Ryan Besinque
Ryan Besinque, Esq.
Ryan Besinque is a dedicated divorce and family law attorney admitted in New York. He earned his undergraduate degree in business administration at the University of Southern California with a minor in psychology. He received his Juris Doctor from the University of San Diego School of Law in 2012, graduating in the top third of his class with honors. During law school, he served as President of Phi Delta Honors. He received the CALI Award for Family Law and the Outstanding Service Award from the Legal Aid Society of San Diego.
Ryan represents clients in divorce, custody, support, and family law offense cases throughout Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, Westchester County, and Nassau County. He serves on the Manhattan Assigned Counsel Panel, providing legal services to individuals who cannot afford private representation. While he prefers collaborative approaches that reduce conflict, he takes aggressive action when necessary to protect his clients’ interests. He connects clients with child specialists, mental health professionals, and financial advisors when comprehensive representation requires support beyond legal counsel.
Will a Spouse Be Penalized for Dragging Out a Divorce in New York?
New York courts have the authority to sanction parties who intentionally delay divorce proceedings. Under New York Domestic Relations Law (DRL) § 237, judges can order the delaying spouse to pay some or all of the other party’s attorney fees when bad faith tactics waste time and resources. This financial penalty discourages obstruction and helps level the playing field when one spouse has greater financial resources.
Beyond monetary sanctions, delay tactics harm the stalling spouse’s credibility with the court. Judges remember which parties cooperate and which create unnecessary obstacles. This loss of credibility can affect decisions on contested issues like custody, property division, and spousal support. A judge who sees a pattern of bad faith may give less weight to that spouse’s claims or requests.
The court can also issue orders compelling compliance. If your spouse disobeys these orders, they face contempt proceedings that can result in fines or even jail time. Courts take their authority seriously and will enforce compliance when a party refuses to participate in good faith.
How Can You Get a Divorce Without Your Spouse’s Cooperation in New York?
New York law provides mechanisms to obtain a divorce even when one spouse refuses to cooperate. You have two main options: default divorce and divorce by publication. Each serves different circumstances, but both allow you to move forward without consent.
Default Divorce When Your Spouse Won’t Respond
A default divorce applies when your spouse has been properly served with divorce papers but fails to respond on time. In New York, the spouse who was served generally has 20 days to respond if served in New York State, or 30 days if served outside New York State.
If your spouse does not file a response within this period, they are in default. You can then proceed with the divorce by submitting proof of service and requesting a default judgment. The court will review your submissions and, if everything is in order, grant the divorce based on your claims.
Default divorce only works when proper service has been completed. Your spouse must have received notice of the divorce action. Without proof of service, the court cannot issue a default judgment.
Divorce by Publication When You Cannot Locate Your Spouse
Divorce by publication addresses situations where you cannot find your spouse to serve them with papers. This typically occurs when couples have been separated for years, with no contact, and you do not know your spouse’s current address.
Before the court allows publication, you must demonstrate diligent efforts to locate your spouse. This includes searching last known addresses, contacting family members, checking social media, and using other reasonable methods. You must document each attempt to satisfy the court that service by publication is necessary.
Once the court approves, you publish notice of the divorce in a designated newspaper for three consecutive weeks. The notice provides basic information about the action and allows your spouse to respond. If your spouse does not contact you after publication, you can proceed with the divorce.
Key Takeaway: New York allows a default divorce when a properly served spouse does not respond on time, and service by publication when you cannot locate your spouse after documenting diligent search efforts. Both methods can allow the case to move forward without consent.
What Steps Can You Take to Move the Divorce Process Forward?
Several strategies help maintain momentum when facing an uncooperative spouse. First, maintain detailed records of all delay tactics, missed deadlines, and refused communications. This documentation becomes critical evidence if you need to request court intervention.
Second, respond promptly to all court deadlines and requirements yourself. When you demonstrate cooperation while your spouse creates obstacles, judges notice the contrast. Your compliance strengthens your position when seeking sanctions or other remedies.
Third, work with your attorney to address specific delay tactics. If your spouse won’t provide a financial disclosure, your attorney can file a motion to compel. If they miss court dates, your attorney may request sanctions. Taking proactive legal action helps keep the case moving forward.
When to Request a Court Conference
In a contested Supreme Court divorce, the court typically holds a preliminary conference early in the case to set deadlines and address early disputes. Under the Uniform Matrimonial Rules, the court orders a preliminary conference, which is generally set within 45 days of the case’s assignment. If your spouse is stalling, your attorney can ask the court to step in, set firm deadlines, and address non-compliance.
At these conferences, the court may set discovery deadlines, settlement conference dates, and trial dates, as necessary. Having judicial oversight creates accountability and makes it harder for a spouse to stall indefinitely.
Key Takeaway: Document all delay tactics, meet your own deadlines promptly, file motions to address specific obstruction, and request court conferences to establish firm schedules with judicial oversight.
How Does New York’s No-Fault Divorce Law Affect Delay Tactics?
Since 2010, New York has allowed no-fault divorce under DRL § 170(7) when a marriage has irretrievably broken down for at least six months. This provision simplifies the divorce process by eliminating the need to prove fault, but it does not eliminate delay tactics.
Under the no-fault law, one spouse’s assertion that the marriage has broken down is generally sufficient grounds for divorce. The other spouse cannot contest the breakdown itself, which removes one potential area of dispute. However, the court cannot grant a no-fault divorce until all ancillary issues are resolved, including property division, spousal support, and child custody.
This requirement gives an uncooperative spouse leverage to delay by refusing to settle ancillary matters. While they cannot prevent the divorce entirely, they can prolong the process by creating disputes over financial and custody issues. Your attorney can file motions to resolve these disputes and move toward a final judgment.
| Divorce Ground | Statute | Main Requirement | Can Spouse Contest? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Irretrievable Breakdown (No-Fault) | DRL § 170(7) | Marriage broken down for 6+ months | No – breakdown cannot be contested |
| Cruel and Inhuman Treatment | DRL § 170(1) | Proof of specific conduct | Yes – can contest allegations |
| Abandonment | DRL § 170(2) | Continuous absence 1+ year | Yes – can contest facts |
| Separation Agreement | DRL § 170(6) | Living apart 1+ year per agreement | Limited – agreement terms govern |
Key Takeaway: New York’s no-fault divorce law under DRL § 170(7) prevents a spouse from contesting the marriage breakdown itself, but they can still delay by refusing to settle property division, support, and custody issues that must be resolved before the court grants the divorce.
What Mistakes Should You Avoid When Dealing with Delay Tactics?
Certain responses to a delaying spouse can make your situation worse. Avoid engaging in retaliatory delay tactics yourself. When you mirror your spouse’s bad behavior, you lose the moral and legal high ground. Courts sanction both parties when each tries to obstruct the other.
Do not make major financial decisions without consulting your attorney first. Some actions, like hiding assets or making large purchases, can be used against you later. Maintain transparency with the court and your legal counsel.
Resist the urge to discuss contested issues directly with your spouse, especially when emotions run high. Let your attorney handle communications to maintain a professional record and avoid saying something that damages your case. Keep all correspondence factual and free from accusations or emotional language.
Finally, do not ignore court deadlines or requirements just because your spouse does. Meeting your obligations demonstrates good faith and protects your interests even when your spouse refuses to cooperate.
Key Takeaway: Avoid retaliatory delay tactics, making major financial decisions without legal advice, engaging in direct communication about contested issues, and missing your own court deadlines. These mistakes undermine your position even when your spouse is the one stalling.
Get Help from a Manhattan Divorce Attorney
Dealing with a spouse who drags out divorce proceedings creates emotional and financial strain. The process already involves difficult decisions about property, support, and custody. Intentional delay tactics add unnecessary months or years to what should move forward at a reasonable pace.
Ryan Besinque has guided clients through contested divorces in Manhattan and throughout New York City for years. The Law Office of Ryan Besinque handles cases in the New York County Supreme Court. Attorney Besinque addresses delay tactics through motions, court conferences, and, when necessary, sanctions requests. The firm represents clients in Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and neighboring Westchester and Nassau counties.
Call The Law Office of Ryan Besinque at (929) 251-4477 for a free consultation. The Manhattan office serves clients throughout New York County and the surrounding areas. Ryan Besinque will review your situation, explain your options for moving the divorce forward, and help protect your interests when your spouse refuses to cooperate.
