Divorce is rarely smooth, even when both sides agree to move forward. Things can get especially tough when one person refuses to cooperate. Sometimes it’s out of anger. Other times, it’s about control or trying to gain an advantage, especially with money. Whatever the reason, dragging things out only adds stress, costs more, and takes an emotional toll on everyone involved.
If you’re going through a divorce in New York and your spouse is making the process harder than it needs to be, you should seek the guidance of an experienced divorce attorney. These situations are frustrating, but there are steps you can take to move forward.
At The Law Office of Ryan Besinque, we’ve worked with people facing the same challenges. Our experienced New York City divorce lawyers listen to what’s happening in your case and talk through your options, so you can protect yourself and move toward a resolution that’s fair. Contact us at (929) 251-4477 to schedule a consultation.
Why Do Divorces Drag Out?
Divorces can extend over a longer period than anticipated for several reasons. Often, it’s not just one issue but a blend of factors contributing to the delay. Gaining insight into these factors can help you handle the process more smoothly.
Firstly, taking advice from the wrong people can significantly slow down the proceedings. Friends and family may have the best intentions, but their guidance is not a substitute for professional legal counsel. Their personal experiences and opinions, while valuable, may not apply to your situation and can lead to unrealistic expectations or unnecessary conflicts.
Subsequently, misinterpreting what your attorney tells you can also create setbacks. It’s crucial to have clear communication with your legal counsel. Misunderstandings can lead to decisions that do not align with legal advice and, as a result, prolong the process. Another common issue is keeping secrets from your attorney. Full transparency is essential for your legal team to represent you effectively. Withholding information can lead to surprises in negotiations or court, causing additional rounds of discussion and litigation.
Involving children too soon in the process can complicate matters as well. Their well-being is paramount, and premature involvement in adult issues can cause emotional upheaval and introduce more friction into the proceedings.
Lastly, believing that feelings are facts can be detrimental. It’s important to separate emotions from the facts of the case. Decisions driven by anger or hurt rather than objective consideration can derail negotiations and lead to a drawn-out divorce. Due to the potential emotional distress and complex legalities involved, it is advisable to consult an experienced New York City divorce lawyer to help you approach divorce with a clear, informed strategy and open communication to avoid these pitfalls that can cause delays.
New York City Divorce Lawyer
Ryan Besinque, Esq.
Ryan Besinque, Esq. is a New York City-based divorce lawyer who brings compassion, clarity, and courtroom strength to his family law practice. He prioritizes thoughtful and respectful solutions while remaining ready to advocate aggressively when the situation requires it. With a strong foundation in both New York and California family law, Ryan offers clients reliable guidance through one of life’s most emotionally difficult transitions.
- Licensed to practice in New York and California
- Handles divorce, custody, child support, and family offense cases
- Serves Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Westchester & Nassau County
- Member of the Manhattan Assigned Counsel Panel
- Undergraduate: University of Southern California, Business Administration & Psychology
- J.D., University of San Diego School of Law (2012, with honors)
- Honors include CALI Award for Family Law and Legal Aid Outstanding Service Award
Why Would One Spouse Choose to Drag Out a Divorce?
Spouses often use unfair tactics in divorces. Sometimes it is a matter of revenge, or if one spouse doesn’t want the divorce and is hoping that the other spouse will change their mind. One spouse may not like the terms that are being offered for child custody or support. In some cases, the reasons are more nefarious such as one spouse attempting to hide assets.
The reasons for stalling a divorce usually fall into one of three categories:
- One spouse doesn’t expect or want the divorce. This spouse may feel if they keep holding on, their spouse will possibly change their mind, and the marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, these spouses have a difficult time letting go and moving on from a marriage that isn’t working.
- One spouse feels angry and resentful. This spouse may feel completely out of control and act out of anger and bitterness toward the other. They want to see that spouse suffer through months or even years of a long, drawn-out divorce to feel some sense of control or even revenge.
- One spouse is motivated by financial reasons for delaying the divorce, running up attorney’s fees, leaving the other without financial resources, delaying support payments, or hiding assets.
Signs that Your Spouse May Be Dragging Your Divorce Out
Some spouses use tactics for stalling a divorce that comes down to pure manipulation. Some signs that you may be dealing with manipulative behavior are when
- Your spouse keeps rescheduling meetings with your mediator or between your lawyers.
- Your spouse avoids service of the court documents or fails to sign the documents.
- Your spouse makes false accusations against you.
- Your spouse frequently changes lawyers.
- Your spouse refuses to answer or return your calls, texts, or emails.
- Your spouse keeps making unreasonable demands.
- Your spouse keeps filing useless motions in court.
While divorce often just takes time, feeling stalled by your soon-to-be ex-spouse is never a good way to begin your new chapter. While there is no deadline for a divorce, you don’t have to sit around and wait for an uncooperative spouse. You may have legal options available to you.
Will a Spouse Be Penalized for Dragging Out a Divorce in NY?
New York courts take delay tactics seriously, especially when it’s clear that one spouse is stalling the process on purpose. Judges have broad authority to manage the pace of divorce proceedings, and they do not look favorably on conduct that wastes time or resources. If a judge believes one party is intentionally prolonging the divorce, they may respond by ordering that spouse to pay some or all of the other party’s legal fees.
In addition to financial penalties, dragging out the process can harm the delaying spouse’s credibility. In contested issues such as custody, property division, or support, a judge might give less weight to their claims if they have been found to be acting in bad faith. This can lead to outcomes that are less favorable for that spouse when the final divorce terms are decided.
Although courts may eventually impose sanctions or force compliance to keep the case moving, delay tactics still create significant emotional and financial strain for the other spouse. It’s important to stay organized, respond to court deadlines, and keep pushing the process forward. Judges take notice when one party remains cooperative and the other does not.
Trying to drag out a divorce is rarely a winning strategy. It can backfire both in court and in the final judgment. If you’re facing unnecessary delays, talk to your New York divorce lawyer about how to bring the issue to the court’s attention.
Divorcing Without The Other Spouse’s Consent
Getting a divorce is never easy, but there are certain circumstances that can make it more difficult. In some cases, one spouse may not want to get a divorce and refuse to respond to the summons. While other times, a person may have a hard time finding the other spouse and serving them divorce papers.
In New York, there are two ways to get a divorce without the consent of your spouse. These are “no signature required” divorce and divorce by publication.
In a divorce process, the divorce papers are formally served to the non-filing spouse. They are then required to respond to the summons within 20 days in order for the process to proceed. However, if the time allotted for the non-filing spouse to respond has passed and there is a lack of response from them, they will be considered “default” and the divorce may still proceed.
A default divorce is only possible if both spouses knew about the filing of the divorce. If the spouse has not received a divorce summons, a default divorce cannot be obtained.
A divorce by publication happens when the filing spouse is not able to locate the other spouse. This usually happens when the couple has been separated for years and has not maintained any contact. The filing spouse may not know where their ex lives or works. In such situations, it may be possible to obtain a divorce by publication.
To prove you tried every avenue possible to locate your spouse, the court will require you to complete a process to document all the actions you made to find the other spouse. If you still have not been able to find your spouse after the process ends, then you’ll be required to publish your notice of the divorce in the local newspaper for three weeks. If your spouse does not contact you after that, the divorce proceedings can begin.
| Category | Motivation | Common Behaviors |
|---|---|---|
| Emotional Denial | Hoping to save the marriage and avoid separation | Refusing to sign paperwork, delaying court dates |
| Anger and Resentment | Seeking revenge or control over the other spouse | Prolonging legal processes, filing excessive motions |
| Financial Manipulation | Gaining financial leverage or hiding resources | Delaying support payments, running up legal fees, concealing assets |
Tactics for Delaying a Divorce
Delaying a divorce can happen for various reasons, and it is usually the result of an uncooperative spouse who doesn’t want to let go of the marriage. One of the main reasons for delaying divorce is the financial motivation of one spouse, who may try to manipulate the finances, run up attorney fees, hide assets, or delay support payments. Another reason could be that one spouse may feel angry and resentful, and they want to see their spouse suffer through a long and drawn-out divorce to feel some sense of control or revenge. The third reason is that one spouse doesn’t want or expect a divorce and hopes that the marriage can be saved by holding on, making it difficult to let go and move on from a marriage that isn’t working.
If you find yourself dealing with an uncooperative spouse, you should seek the guidance of an experienced New York divorce attorney to discuss your options. Your attorney can request a hearing to address the issues you are experiencing, and if your spouse disobeys court orders, they may find themselves in serious trouble and may even face jail time. There are also legal options available to you, such as getting a divorce without the consent of your spouse through a “no signature required” divorce or a divorce by publication. With the help of a skilled New York divorce attorney, you can work through the divorce process and move forward with your life.
Why Do Lawyers Drag Out Cases
Legal cases, like divorce proceedings, can become extended and intricate due to various elements. Child custody and financial matters often dominate these discussions. Yet, another unnoticed aspect that contributes to the duration of these cases is the deliberate stalling tactics used by attorneys from both parties. This occurrence is notably common during the negotiation phase of a divorce agreement, predominantly when financial matters are the primary concern.
In certain jurisdictions – for example, New York – where legal separation is an acceptable choice, attorneys may suggest their clients contemplate it as a preliminary step to divorce. Legal separation allows couples a two-year period to decide whether to move forward with a divorce. Additionally, it includes the option for either party to request a “no fault” divorce after the separation period has ended.
This strategy can be beneficial for attorneys as it has the potential to augment their chargeable hours, particularly if one spouse decides to pursue a divorce at the end of the separation period. This method is often observed in large law firms that place revenue creation above reaching a conclusive divorce agreement.
This is why it is crucial to hire a seasoned divorce attorney who can prevent or at least lessen such delays. Understanding why attorneys sometimes extend cases allows one to more effectively handle the legal process and possibly reduce the length of their case.
Hiring a Skilled New York Divorce Attorney
If you find that you are trying to handle a divorce with an uncooperative spouse, your New York divorce attorney can request a hearing to address the issues you are experiencing. If your spouse then disobeys court orders, he or she may find himself or herself in serious trouble and may even face jail time. Don’t waste any more time than necessary with a spouse who is trying to drag out your divorce. Ryan Besinque and the experienced team of New York divorce lawyers at The Law Office of Ryan Besinque may provide options to force your spouse to comply with the process. We have the experience it takes to help guide you toward the resolution you need to move forward. Call us at (929) 251-4477 or contact us online to schedule a free consultation.
